I fear being alone. I fear it so much that I stayed in a relationship well beyond the point my consciousness was screaming and crying for me to leave him. I married him, loved him, cared for him, and was the best person I could be - or so I thought. 8 years with a man that would sooner toss everything away on a whim - including me.

Divorced now - but I love/hate being alone. I do everything I can to find some connection - even going so far as to post this little note anonymously on some journal of some person who posted to a shared community on my flist.

And now I grope in the dark for someone to love me. I've tossed three possible relationships away simply because I could. Why do I do this if I don't want to be alone?

I am Jane's insecurities.